‘Art of Insomnia’ Revised for Reprint (Part 2)

As a follow-on from the Part 1 Blog, Art of Insomnia Revised for Reprint (Part 1) here are the details of the five revisals made in the reprint of Art of Insomnia, each explanation accompanied by a photograph showing the revised version of the poem as it now appears in the chapbook.

Revisal 1: ‘HELENIUM ONE AND ONLY (Helenium sui generis)’ is the third poem in Section 1 (BEAUTIFUL/TERRIBLE) of the chapbook. It is a tiny poem, written in response to a prompt to compose a poem of no more than 10 lines, describing a person/event as if describing a flower/plant in a seed catalogue. As you’ll observe from the photograph just one word was changed, replacing the word ‘warned’ with the word ‘aware’. The sole reason for this was to avoid unnecessary and pointless repetition, the word ‘warning’ having appeared in the immediately preceding line. Had I not had a much better reason for revisal [Revisal 5], I’d probably have left the poem as it was. This is the poem.

Like Revisal 1, the reason for the minor amendment in Revisal 2, to ‘NEARLY NOT GOING OUT SYNDROME’ is partly to correct unnecessary word repetition in successive lines. In the original version the word ‘effort’ appeared in lines 11 and 12 and worked fine but, as there was going to be a necessary revisal elsewhere [Revisal 5], I took the chance to replace ‘effort’ with ‘battle’ in line 12 because I think ‘battle’ better expresses what is going on in the mind, as well as avoiding repetition. This is the new version of the poem from Section 2 (FRENCH RETREAT) of the chapbook ‘Art of Insomnia’.

As with the previous poem in Revisal 2, Revisal 3, of poem PILGRIMAGE, is from Section 2 of the book (FRENCH RETREAT) and relates ultimately to a promise I made to myself. Unlike the two previous revisals, this one is not about removing an unnecessary repetition; it is about a decision to remove a phrase and, in replacing it, name the destructive demon ‘overthinking’.

Like Revisals 2 and 3, REVISAL 4 also relates to Section 2 of the chapbook (FRENCH RETREAT). Once again the original reason for the revision was the wish to avoid inappropriate repetition. I do very much approve of good repetition. However in this poem, ‘FOUND IN FRANCE’, I noticed that in the list of things my late wife would have found off-putting about the French place to which I had retreated I had unwittingly mentioned bees twice. I decided that I’d remove the first mention of them and emphasise the inescapability of the dogs by inserting the word ‘doorway’. Helen liked, but was afraid of, dogs and in the French getaway there were three dogs, usually present at one doorway or another! Just one revisal to go now. In the meantime here’s the revised version of ‘FOUND IN FRANCE’ as it appears in the reprint (over two pages).

Finally, there’s REVISAL 5, the one absolutely necessary revisal that led to the opportunity to make the other four less necessary ones which, though less necessary, do – I hope – clarify and improve what they replace. Anyway, Revisal 5 is the really embarrassing one. Originally, I loved the sound of the word ‘enervate’ as it originally appeared in line 25. I loved reading ‘energy to enervate’ and I thought I knew the meaning. However, some time after publication of the chapbook I saw a tweet in which someone referred to former Makar Jackie Kay describing in another poem a mistaken use of the word ‘enervate’. I checked and was distressed to find that the word meant pretty much the opposite of what I thought! Using ‘energise’ would not have worked with energy in the same line, and I did not like any of the synonyms I could find. So, I thought about a word that meant the opposite of being brought down and ‘elevate’ was ideal to convey that meaning. It also sounded similar to the word it was replacing, and that pleased me because I felt I was retaining as much of the sound of the original as possible while correcting the meaning and purpose of the line. This final revisal is of the poem ‘AFTER THE ENDING’ which appears over two pages in the chapbook’s Section 3 (RETURN TO WHAT REMAINS).

To purchase ‘Art of Insomnia’, this is the page with all the details Art of Insomnia

Art of Insomnia Revised for Reprint (Part 1)

As some of you know, at the end of May 2021 my debut poetry chapbook Art of Insomnia was published by The Hedgehog Poetry Press, a matter of great importance to me, especially as it was dedicated to and largely inspired by my beloved wife Helen, whose unexpected death broke my heart exactly one week before Easter 2019.

I was grateful that the book resonated with so many readers and, as it proved more popular than I had expected, the matter of printing additional copies had to be considered.

Inside Front and Back Covers of ‘Art of Insomnia’

By this time I was working on further chapbook ideas and preparing for a larger collection but decided, before going ahead with a further print run, to look at the poems afresh to ensure I was entirely happy with them.

Thankfully, I found that most of them conveyed their messages exactly as I wanted those messages to go out and I was content to leave those. However, I was disappointed to discover from a tweet I saw by chance on Twitter that one of the twenty two poems contained a word often used to mean the opposite of its actual meaning, and that’s an error I had made.

No one had brought this error to my attention, and I may have got away with it, but knowing that a reprint was in the offing made me look critically at the whole manuscript. As a result, I found four other minor matters which, if changed, might improve the work. Thankfully, my publisher agreed to all five changes which have been incorporated in the reprint currently available for purchase. This is the link for purchase – Art of Insomnia

I do have mixed feelings about all this.

On the one hand I am delighted that the copies now available at Scottish Poetry Library, and at a number of libraries local to me, contain these revisals. Similarly, this will be true for copies now being placed with independent book shops and those I take with me to poetry gigs in 2022 and beyond.

However, there’s a fair number of folk who have the original version, without the small changes to five poems, so I do feel it necessary to publicise the changes as widely as I can.

Coming up in Part 2 of this blog – ‘Art of Insomnia’ Revised for Reprint (Part 2) – you’ll find details of the five changes and the reasons for them, so I hope that lots of those who have purchased the original chapbook will find this helpful.

Further, all members of The Hedgehog Poetry Press’s ‘Cult of the Spiny Hog’ will be able to download an updated digital copy of the book free of charge.

I have also alerted followers on Facebook and Twitter to the changes, and will now link them to this blog (parts 1 and 2)

Finally, I am about to send out to those purchasers for whom I hold addresses a bookmark which contains details of the changes on its reverse.

By this means I hope to get the information out to anyone who may be interested.

If you already have a revised reprint, this blog and -link- will probably be of less significance, unless you have an academic interest in the rarity of a post-publication editing process.

To find out details of the changes, and view the five poems in their changed form, go to – ‘Art of Insomnia’ Revised for Reprint (Part 2)

If you haven’t purchased Art of Insomnia but this blog or its Part 2 –‘Art of Insomnia’ Revised for Reprint (Part 2) – has sparked your interest, this is the purchase link you require – Art of Insomnia

Home Stage: Meet the Poet (Phil Vernon & Peter A): 23 June 2021

This is just a screen grab. The YouTube link is at the end of the fourth paragraph of the blogpost

Well, well, well – that was quite something last night, and I am a little lost for words today!

To be paired with a poet possessing the experience, inventiveness and skill which Phil Vernon has in abundance, in a poetry presentation format which enables viewers to see the text of the poem as the poet reads. To be hosted so skilfully, enthusiastically and insightfully by Florrie Crass on the very professional Home Stage platform.

That was a dream for any writer, and I feel truly blessed that last night happened.

As I expressed at the start I am somewhat lost for words at the moment but we all had a fair bit to read and say during the livestream. So, if that interests you, please click on the YouTube link and savour some of last night’s flavour. If you want to view the video recording of the livestream the YouTube link for it is here https://youtu.be/hFESWt62dag

Finally, if you wish to order a copy of Art of Insomnia it can be obtained from Hedgehog Poetry Press, Amazon or from my Art of Insomnia page here https://peterawriter.com/art-of-insomnia/ (the only way to get a signed copy if that is what you require); and if you wish to purchase Phil’s Poetry After Auschwitz it’s available on Amazon.

His blog post following on from last night’s show can be found here https://philvernon.net/2021/06/24/poetry-reading-with-peter-a/

Drop in with Nigel Kent – Poet

Following a break from blogging I shall return to posting fairly regular blogs this month. In the meantime, I take this opportunity to Reblog from my Drop-in with Nigel Kent published this morning. Next Saturday his review of ‘Art of Insomnia’ will appear on the Nigel Kent – Poet website

Drop in by Peter A

Today I have great pleasure in inviting Peter A to talk about a poem from his moving Art of Insomnia (Hedgehog Press, 2021)

My debut chapbook Art of Insomnia is personal in a way that is not very typical of my poetry to date. That said, in much of my previous and ongoing work I have tried to deliver an emotional punch where it is justified by the subject matter or theme of the poem.

Art of Insomnia comprises 22 poems written in the nine month period following the unexpected death of my wife; in it I attempt to express the impact of incomprehensible loss and signal the potential for a bearable way forward. The chapbook is divided into four sections and the poem I have selected is the second poem of the third section. Following the second section, which describes a temporary escape from familiar surroundings and people, this section [RETURN TO WHAT REMAINS] is about coming back to the inescapable reality of loss.

In the poem selected here, I mainly use a fairly conventional, uncomplicated, almost-conversational form of address direct to the reader, with many of the same words repeated in each of the nine-line stanzas.

The words which are unique to each stanza set out two issues which may arise when well-intentioned people try to offer comfort and praise at a time when the recently-bereaved person is at the stages of grief where he feels only guilt and powerlessness. These lines of the stanzas arrive in a form which is more poetic or dramatic in style leading the reader to pathos at the end of each stanza.

The title comes from the word ‘better’ at the end of the first line of the poem, and the word ‘fail’ at the end of its last line. Any resemblance to Samuel Beckett’s ‘Fail Better’ is fortuitous but also somewhat fortunate.

Thank you, Peter A. Next week read my review of this exceptionally powerful collection.